5 Things All Casino Gambling Fans Are Sick of Hearing

The life of a casino gambling fan is filled with peaks and valleys. On one hand there are the good days, when chips seem to rain from the heavens and all the cocktail servers are part-time models.

Then there are the bad days, when the old lady with the oxygen tank blows smoke in your face and every game seems out to get you. Of course, that just comes with the territory.

What doesn’t come with the territory, however, are some of the stupid comments you have to listen to while trying to win a few extra bucks. The ones heard in the background are irritating enough, but when the moronic chatter is directed right to your face it’s enough to make you choke someone.

This post details 5 things that all casino gambling fans are sick of hearing. If you’ve already been bombarded with these clichés over the years, then you have my sympathy.

For those who are just starting their gambling careers, get ready to hear these phrases until you’re blue in the face.

1. “This game is rigged.”
Let’s get something straight: casino games are not rigged. Sure, the rules may ultimately favor the house, but they’re also clearly printed for the customer to read.

The idea that the casino would cheat in the middle of play is ridiculous, and it’s one of the most common things that losing gamblers tell themselves. This allows them to take the blame off themselves for their perceived misfortunes.

If you do nothing else, don’t delude yourself into thinking that you’re being cheated. Just admit your role in the process and take your losses like a man (or woman).

2. “The drinks are free around here. Yes!”
Whenever I hear this, I try to get away as soon as possible. These words are usually spoken by someone who loves alcohol, and those free drinks will soon leave them sloppy drunk and wanting to strike up a conversation with their neighbor (in this case, you).

They don’t seem to realize that everything the casino does is for a purpose. When you have too much to drink, your brain ceases to work as effectively. When that happens, your ability to make decisions is adversely affected.

All of these factors add up to an advantage for the house. While you’re chugging down imported beer, the casino is lifting your wallet and quietly removing the contents.

3. “Hey, pal, can I borrow $5? I’ll pay you back after I win.”
No matter how bad your losing streak gets, you should never, ever ask a stranger to lend you money. Not only is it rude, it also puts the other person in an extremely uncomfortable position.

Still, I bet this has happened to me at least six times over the last decade, and I still remember every one of those cringe-worthy moments. At least you can turn down a homeless person while walking in a particular direction. In this kind of situation, you’re a sitting duck with nowhere to run to.

The only time I broke down and floated a loan was to an attractive thirtysomething female, and I still kick myself for that decision. As you might have guessed, I never got reimbursed.

It’s like feeding monkeys at the zoo. Give food to one, and the other will come running. The best policy is not to do it. After all, it’s a casino and not a soup kitchen.

4. “The smoke doesn’t bother you, does it?”
I always cringe when I’m playing slots and a blue-haired old lady sits down next to me. It’s not because I have some beef with seniors, it’s just that I’m fearful they’re a smoker. If they are, you can bet they’ll be fishing out a cancer stick within minutes of their arrival.

I’ve dealt with asthma ever since I was a child. I’ve got a minor case, but it can be aggravated by exposure to certain types of chemicals. Cigarette smoke is definitely on that list.

While I hate for someone to ask if smoke bothers me while I’m obviously turning blue, at least they have the courtesy to inquire. The people I really hate are the ones who sit down and intentionally blow it in my direction.

Here are just some of the chemicals found in cigarette smoke, as well as other places these same ingredients are located:

Butane – rubber cement
Tar – used to pave roads
Arsenic – rat poison
Ammonia – household cleaning products
Methanol – rocket fuel
Acetone – nail polish remover
5. “Time for another trip to the ATM.”
If I had a quarter for every time I’d heard this phrase uttered in casinos…well, I’d have a helluva lot of quarters.

Some players approach the casinos like maniacs, betting outrageous sums of money without even understanding the proper strategy for their game of choice. When they inevitably run out of money, their solution is simple: head back to the ATM machine.

Not only is this stupid, but it’s also a good way to end up with a drained bank account. This is exactly the reason why casinos place ATM machines around in the first place.

It’s also a total slap in the face to the concept of bankroll management. The objective is to play only with the money you can afford to lose, not dip into savings that are being held aside for food, rent, and your child’s college education.

Conclusion
Gambling at the casino can be tough, as a winning streak can quickly turn into a living nightmare. It’s all part of the game, though, and experienced gamblers learn to take the good with the bad.

While players can get used to the ups and downs of gaming, there are some phrases and clichés that are likely to set off even the most seasoned pro. Yell one of these at Doyle Brunson the next time he putters by on his scooter, and he’s likely to try and run you over.

7 Things You Never Knew About Casinos

Americans love gambling. We spend billions of dollars every year at land-based casinos, from the high desert of Las Vegas to the riverboat casinos of the Mississippi Delta. Forty US states are home to at least one casino. Even conservative Texas has a casino within its borders.

The casino business has been booming for nearly 100 years. From its early days as a frontier distraction to the multi-billion dollar mega-businesses of today, casino gambling has enthralled Americans as long as it’s been available. But I bet you didn’t know all these cool facts about the casino business.

Read on for a fascinating look at how the betting industry really works.

1. Casinos lose money all the time
Sure, most players end up losing money. But you have to figure high cost of the property, staff, and complimentary items keep casinos from beating everyone. Of course those patrons who play very little or are accompanying real players make up a large portion of this group, but there are many players that are actually able to win over a long period of time. This group includes blackjack card counters, but the largest percentage is comprised of players who gamble just enough to qualify for freebies and complimentary giveaways like free rooms and meals.

2. They love winners
You might assume that the casino isn’t happy when someone cashes in a big jackpot. But that’s far from the truth. Think about it – do you want to play at a casino that never pays out big winnings or a casino that regularly advertises big prizes? Big wins are good for business, so don’t be surprised to see a bunch of smiles and glad-handing when the supervisor hands you a big progressive prize.

3. Card-counters are welcome … in Atlantic City
If you’re an advantage gambler of any type, you run the risk of getting kicked out of a casino in Las Vegas or most other parts of the country. Most casinos reserve the right to kick out anyone they suspect is counting cards or using other advantage techniques. But if you’re a card-counter and you want to use your skill freely, there is one place you’re welcome. Atlantic City is explicitly open to blackjack card-counters and other advantage bettors. How do they do it? They’ve adapted. For example, the rules for blackjack are altered to account for the impact of card counting tactics.

4. Think you’ve been ripped off? There’s an agency for that
Every legal casino in America is run by a regulatory agency. If you think you’ve been cheated, you can contact Gaming Control (or whatever agency runs the show where you were playing) and lodge a formal complaint. Just don’t use this service to whine about cold food or a broken elevator. Those particular complaints should be made to the casino’s manager, not to a government body meant to curtail casino cheating.

5. If you win big, you can ask for a check instead of cash or chips
This one surprised me – I’ve never seen it done before, and I’ve been in casinos plenty of times. Apparently, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask for a check if you have a decent-sized win. Basically, any hand-pay you get in Vegas or AC can be turned into a check, so long as you ask nicely and do it before you get your cash or chip pay-out. You can even get a combination pay-out, part in a check, part in cash, and part in chips. Remember – your casino is basically a service economy with you as its target. If you play a lot and talk sweetly to the employees, you can get pretty much whatever you want, within reason.

6. You need a current and valid photo ID on you pretty much at all times
Though some US casinos allow players in at age 18 (particularly in Alaska), the gambling age in pretty much every other US state is 21. To enforce that, the casino demands that all players have a valid photo ID on them at all time while on the floor. Don’t even try the old “Oops, I left my ID up in my room” trick. The casino can (and will) ask you to leave if you don’t have your ID on you.

7. Casinos have strict etiquette rules – including language restrictions
Contrary to the stereotype of the casino as a den of iniquity, gambling halls actually have pretty lengthy lists of rules and proper etiquette that you must follow. The quickest way to get a nasty look from your dealer or even a warning from the pit is to open your mouth and let one of those famous “four-letter words” slip out. My advice – act like you’re playing craps with your grandmother. You’ll be better off, and the other bettors around you will appreciate your kindness.

2018 NFL Draft: Who Will Be Number 1?

The National Football League’s 83rd annual rookie draft will take place on April 26-28, 2018 (8 PM ET) at the AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas. It will be the first draft to be held in the state of Texas and the first draft to be held in an NFL stadium.

Browns Picking First
The Cleveland Browns own five of the top 64 picks in this year’s NFL Draft, including the #1 overall pick and the 4th pick, which they acquired in a previous trade with the Texans.

Since rejoining the NFL in 1999, the Browns have started 28 different quarterbacks. That’s more than one per year if you bother to count. The recently-acquired Tyrod Taylor will be the 29th, and he’s likely not the future franchise quarterback but merely a bridge to that guy.

The #1 pick in the 2018 NFL Draft will most probably give the Browns that franchise quarterback and they have four (or five) top QB options to choose from. With the 4th pick, the Browns are expected to draft a non-play caller.

The Oddsmakers’ Choice
According to the bookmakers, these are the top 7 possible #1 picks for the Cleveland Browns.

Sam Darnold -250
Sam Darnold’s dazzling display at the USC ProDay last month probably clinched for him the #1 overall pick in the 2018 NFL Draft. Darnold refused to move his throwing session because of rain, and he shined in front of a Browns contingent that included owner Jimmy Haslam.

The USC Trojan doesn’t have the rifle arm of Dan Marino, but he has the uncanny ability to put the ball in a position where his receivers have a realistic chance of making a catch. Among the QBs in the draft, he may be the most physically gifted and tough to put down in the pocket.

Josh Allen +175
If it’s not Sam Darnold, it’s got to be Josh Allen. The Browns have to use the #1 pick for a quarterback. The Browns like Allen’s size, speed, escapability, and arm strength. But coaches around the league are concerned about his 56.2% pass completion because the success record for QBs with a college completion percentage of below 58% isn’t great in the NFL.

There are several factors in that 56.2%, like Allen’s evolving footwork or his lack of supporting cast in Wyoming. Regardless, we’ve seen him shorten his stride since working with Jordan Palmer, and with enough time, his completion percentage can be the exception to the rule.

Saquon Barkley +500
Saquon Barkley is firmly in the mix for top pick conversation after killing it in the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis. At 6 feet tall and 233 pounds, Barkley proved to be the most explosive “big” running back in the last 18 years of the Combine.

With the speed of an elite receiver and the strength of an elite lineman, Barkley is simply a jaw-dropping NFL prospect. In three seasons at Penn State, he rushed for close to 4,000 yards and scored 51 touchdowns from scrimmage, 1 from passing, and 2 on kickoff returns.

Josh Rosen +1000
Just because his name isn’t often linked to the Browns in the national media coverage doesn’t mean the Browns aren’t considering making Josh Rosen the top overall pick for this year’s draft.

Rosen’s size is better than Darnold, yet it’s funny how they say he is undersized and Darnold is the prototype. When he threw in the Combine, his deep balls were better than Josh Allen’s. The UCLA QB’s pocket presence is better than that of the other top QB prospects, so having said all these, there’s a chance – although just slight – that the Browns may pick him at #1.

Baker Mayfield +2000
Media and experts say that it’s a toss between Sam Darnold and Josh Allen, but Browns’ GM John Dorsey said last month that it’s still a toss-up between the top 4 QBs, meaning Darnold, Allen, Rosen, and Baker Mayfield.

Dorsey also added that Mayfield had a “really good” workout with the Browns. Since the Senior Ball in January, Dorsey has praised Mayfield’s character and passion for football. Sure, he may be a longshot, but given that he has that “face of the franchise” personality, who knows?

Bradley Chubb +3300
Adding Bradley Chubb to a defensive line that already has Myles Garrett and Emmanuel Ogbah would be nasty, and Garrett is already hoping that the three of them can wreak havoc around the NFL.

Browns’ GM John Dorsey has been high on him since the Combine, but because they need a QB more than a defensive end, Cleveland would probably take him with their 4th pick, if he’s still on the board.

Minkah Fitzpatrick +6600
Alabama defensive back Minkah Fitzpatrick has been included in this conversation because of his versatility. Browns’ head coach Hue Jackson acknowledged that Fitzpatrick can indeed play both cornerback and free safety.

He hasn’t worked out with the Browns yet, but Jackson assured that if the Browns end up picking him, the Browns have the right spot for him in the organization.

Looking Ahead to the 2018 NFL Season
While the Browns are expected to add at least two key players for their future, the immediate future says that the New England Patriots and Philadelphia Eagles are going to be the top 2 teams in the upcoming season. Or at least that’s what the odds are saying.

New England is currently the favorite at +500. Sure, they lost to the Eagles the last time around, but with Tom Brady not yet retiring, the Patriots are still going to be a very dangerous team. But then, of course, if coach Bill Belichick decides to hang up his sweater, it may be a different story.

Super Bowl LII winners Philadelphia Eagles are next at +900, and rightfully so. They won the Super Bowl without their starting QB, and that speaks about the talent on this team. If Carson Wentz can return back to his old form, the sky is likely the limit for the defending champions.

The Green Bay Packers, L.A. Rams, and the Pittsburgh Steelers are tied with the next best odds at +1000. With Aaron Rodgers set to return, the Packers should contend. The Rams have the top scoring offense in the NFL, while the Steelers have a winning percentage of .696 over the past three seasons.